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Can divorce make you a better parent?

Parents who divorce and then share custody are forced to learn what life is like without their children. For some, they have their kids for a few days and then hand them over to their other parent for a few days before the cycle repeats itself. Other divorced parents have other custody-sharing arrangements, but the element they all have in common is that parents have their kids on some days and are without them on other days.

Those "other days" are often the greatest challenge, one divorced mom recently wrote in a newspaper column. She says that the arrangement has overall made her a better parent, however, because when she has her kids she has to be "100 percent in charge and responsible for all things parenting."

The divorced mom writes that she had to become more active with her two girls (activities taken care of pre-divorce by the dad), even as her ex had to learn more about girls' clothes and how to track all of the daughters' school and social activities.

The bottom line for the girls (one is 10 years old and the other is 13) is that they get more one-on-one time with their parents than they did before the split, which the mom guesses helps make up for the fact that the family is never all in one place any more.

Plus, the time away from her kids makes her appreciate the times when she is with them again. She notes that every parent who has ever gone away on a business trip knows the feeling: you miss your kids dearly while you are gone and can't wait to hug them upon your return.

She gets to experience those happy reunions on a regular basis.

The mom says that divorce is hard. Parenting after a divorce is even harder, she says, but the insights gained and new bonds forged have made the parent-child relationships even better than they were prior to the divorce.

An experienced McLean family law attorney can help you protect your children and yourself in a divorce that includes disputes over child custody. Contact Roeder & Cochran, PLLC for more information.

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McLean, VA 22102

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